IM with a Twilight obsessor
by Cullenocd
Summary: Now if you get to this point, I seriously reccomend some therapeutic help.
1. Chapter 1

**IM With a Twilight obsessor**

ilovehobos29: heyy

edwardcullen01: Sorry. I didnt mean to wake you

ilovehobos29: i wasnt sleeping

edwardcullen01: I was all braced for the wrath that was going to put grizzlies to shame, and this is what I get? I should infuriate you more often.

ilovehobos29: you never made me made

edwardcullen01: I'll wait as long as you want.

ilovehobos29: was that the wrong im? im not waiting for anything

edwardcullen29: Whatever you prefer.

ilovehobos29: uhm okaty?

edwardcullen29: Not to bring on the ire prematurely, but do you mind telling me what it is about this bed that you object to?

ilovehobos29: what? and what bed?

edwardcullen01: The bed? I think its nice.

ilovehobos29: i dont knwo what your talking about

edwardcullen01: That's debatable. This would be difficult on a couch.

ilovehobos29: i know i dont know what yer talking about, and wtf?

edwardcullen01: Dont be ridiculous, Bella. I was just trying to illustrate the benefits of the bed that you dont seem to like. Dont get carried away.

ilovehobos29: er...that wasnt waht i meant

edwardcullen01: Good. I do, too.

ilovehobos29: you do what?

edwardcullen01: For the hundredth time Bella--it's too dangerous.

ilovehobos29: what? i dont know what your talking about

edwardcullen01: I know.

ilovehobos29: tehn why...?

edwardcullen01: Protecting you from combustion. If this too much for you...

ilovehobos29: whats combustion?

edwardcullen01: I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I didnt mean to make you unhappy. That wasnt nice.

ilovehobos29: then make snese, caus i dont know what your talking about

edwardcullen01: Arent you tired? I should let you sleep.

ilovehobos29: its four oclock

edwardcullen01: That's probably a bad idea. You're not the only one who gets carried away.

ilovehobos29: to slepe? and what are you talking about?

edwardcullen01: You have no idea, Bella. It doesnt help that you are so eager to undermine my self control, either.

ilovehobos29: so i dont know what your talking about and netrith do you? that donty make any sense

ilovehobos29: and what are you tlaking about?

edwardcullen01: Can I apologize?

ilovehobos29: what for?

edwardcullen01: You were angry with me, remember?

ilovehobos29: no

edwardcullen01: I'm sorry. I was wrong It's much easier to have the proper perspective when I have you safely here. I go a little berserk when I try to leave you. I dont think I'll go so far again. It's not worth it.

ilovehobos29: i just saw you in school, you live liek a street away.. and your starting to amke me a little uncomfortabel...

edwardcullen01: Yes, I did, actually. Still not worth the anxiety. I'm sorry I had Alice hold you hostage, though. That was a bad idea.

ilovehobos29 signed off.

ilovehobos29 is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back in.

_**I'm not sure how that went, but I might make more IMs like this, but maybe not the same style. (like, it'll only be quotes from the book, but not in order)**_

_**I dunno, tell me what you think!**_

_**Cullenocd**_


	2. Chapter 2

**IM with a Twilight Obsessor**

woweegyrlXD: hey

alicesawyoucoming: hi

woweegyrlXD: wut r u doing?

alicesawyoucoming: reading

woweegyrlXD: still?

alicesawyoucoming: of course

woweegyrlXD: what is it even about anyways

alicesawyoucoming: vampires

woweegyrlXD: i hate sci-fi

alicesawyoucoming: sci-fi?

woweegyrlXD: u kno, science fiction. just a bunch of fake suspence and stuff

alicesawyoucoming: Edward is not fake

woweegyrlXD: edward? o yeaaaaaa that freaky vampire who everyone is like in love with i think hes just gayy

alicesawyoucoming: :(

alicesawyoucoming: EDWARD IS NOT GAY

woweegyrlXD: hahaha

alicesawyoucoming: ...

woweegyrlXD: whats so great about him anyways?

alicesawyoucoming: whats NOT great about him? hes sweet, and kind, and loveable, and cute, and selfless...

woweegyrlXD: hahaha sounds pretty fictional to me wayy too good to be true

alicesawyoucoming: he is real

woweegyrlXD: vampires dont exist

alicesawyoucoming: WTE?!?!?!

woweegyrlXD: wte?

alicesawyoucoming: what the edward

woweegyrlXD: ...

alicesawyoucoming: how dare you say that? edward is NOT gay, he IS real, and vampires DO exist. if they didnt exist, how do you explain snow?

woweegyrlXD: climate lol

alicesawyoucoming: nope, its when a bunch of vampires come near. they are cold so they change the climate. thats why it hardly snows where the sun is, since vampires dont come out during the day since it would upset the Volturi and give away their secret

woweegyrlXD: youve lost your mind

alicesawyoucoming: edward can find it for me. and you are WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!

woweegyrlXD: in the phone book, would i look under 'therapists'?

alicesawyoucoming: --

alicesawyoucoming: vampires DO exist. you could have some classes with some and not even know it

woweegyrlXD: lol nope because no one has died yet ;) annnnnnd vampires do not exist

alicesawyoucoming: they could have been vegetarians...and VAMPIRES DO EXIST HOW DARE YOU THINK LIKE THAT! twitch

woweegyrlXD: why did you twitch?

alicesawyoucoming: in New Moon, Bella told Edward "How dare you think like that!" when he was thinking about killing himself by provoking the Volturi

woweegyrlXD: you can quote that? thats sad. put the book down, seriously

alicesawyoucoming: i can quote that _page _

woweegyrlXD: wow

alicesawyoucoming: are you done ripping on vampires? i want to hurry up with this page already jacobs in it and i hate him

woweegyrlXD: ...i _love _Jacob

alicesawyoucoming: YOU DO NOT

woweegyrlXD: i do. hes sweet, and selfless, and loveable...

alicesawyoucoming: YOU DIDNT EVEN READ THE BOOKS YET AND ONCE YOU DO YOU WILL NOT LIKE JACOB!

woweegyrlXD: ive heard enough about him cute little wolfie...

alicesawyoucoming: HES EMO!!! WHAT NOW?!?!?

woweegyrlXD: what?

alicesawyoucoming: he cuts his wrist. but you cant tell since he heals so fast 

woweegyrlXD: how do you know that?

alicesawyoucoming: and he licks his butt, since hes a dog technically

woweegyrlXD: ...

woweegyrlXD has signed off.

woweegyrlXD is offline and will receive your IMs when signing back on.


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